I have been happier than usual with a joy that has never been so potent, so lucid, and so convincing. I feel as though I am one of the luckiest human beings in the planet. Being able to do and have the things I desire, and being given the time, opportunity, and resources to further deepen and strengthen my art practice. I find it is still quite a melange of sorts, kind of like primordial pond scum but in a cute and optimistic way like flubber haha but the intention to evolve, to expand is there. I am confident that I will find my way nonetheless at my own perfect time. I have been investigating the notion of happiness. This began in Manila, after staging some acts of healing and reconciliation between myself and the figures of my past: family, friends, Cebu. I am unearthing insights on this subject from my experience with religion and fanaticism through a new work in progress. It's called "Church B" for now.
I've been having a consistent urge to perform but what? how? have been the frustrating questions. I'm a bit saturated with my performance techniques, even my themes. How does one transform? How does one find new impetus, new stimuli, perhaps even a new muse. I am happy and for now, the closest thing I have to an intention is to share this joy. How to do this without being patronising or didactic?
3:19 am Manhattan, New York
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