A good looking caucasian man in a t-shirt steps onto the stage. He began to speak with the audience. His rapport was undeniable and his presence captivated the entire room.
I was spellbound immediately. As he progressed with his act, I began to notice strangely familiar details in his piece. Details that seem to have come from my own world and history. He spoke the language of my childhood, with a reference vocabulary of sci-fi movies, prehistoric creatures, and heavenly bodies, all wrapped in the black of the night. He continued to narrate his story, revealing in the process, his Grindr use. I began to admit I had to meet him. Throughout the performance, I wrestled with this attraction, constantly questioning my reaction to his presence.
Towards the end of the show, I felt the needed to find a way to naturally connect with him. Just before the blackout, I muster all my focus and asked for the universe and my guides to help me. I stared deep into his face, willing him to look at me. As he scanned through the audience with his sharp gaze, the last pair of eyes he meets are mine. I knew that he had seen me. After that, the audience, including I, gave him a standing ovation.
I added him on facebook as my friend and I waited for him to come out for his meet and greet. But we had waited at the wrong door, and my friend was hungry. We headed to the ramen restaurant next door. I had a beer. She treated herself to a bowl of ramen. I added him on facebook. Later that night, I checked my instagram and find a message from him. I left him a message on facebook. He replied. We exchanged numbers:
We met for the first on January 19th before his closing performance.
We would meet again the next week on January 25.
On February 3rd, he took me to see a cabaret show. We met up at his hotel and had Chinese dinner at nearby Chinese takeout. I remember he'd hold my hand, kiss me, and put his arm around me throughout the evening. I felt pretty and prized. He had swept me away.
* * *
On February 7, I purchased tickets to Madama Butterfly. I invited him to see it with me. I needed to see Butterfly die as a means of letting go of my self-imposed narrative of romantic tragedy. Bringing a date would also mean, I would start opening myself to the possibility of a love without tragedy.
* * *
We met up again on February 9 to hang out at his hotel.
* * *
February 22 was a rainy day. We met up at the Met Opera for Madama Butterfly. I wore my favorite shirt, my beloved blue malong, the silver shoes I got myself from Harrison, my favorite boxer briefs, and lastly my favorite dinosaur socks. We ate a thai place for dinner. After the opera, I asked for him to come home to my apartment with me.
* * *
February 28, we hung out at his hotel. I stayed until 3 the day after.
* * *
March 06– I said goodbye to my friend Jie from Taiwan. We went to Dumbo and had Chinese lunch.
I meet up with him later that night. I spent the next day with him again. He worked on his piano while I did my routine for Princess.
* * *
March 07– I went back home to prepare for my performance at Pinto Manhattan. On my way out, I noticed that my passport was missing. I went through with my performance anyway and spent the night ransacking the apartment for my passport after.
* * *
March 08– I went back to his hotel to find my passport. We couldn't find it there either. I went to the consulate to begin dealing with the situation. Distraught, I went to see him play at his hotel. We would later be dragged along by his friends to see a performance. I sleepover at his hotel
* * *
March 10– He invited me to sleepoever with him again,
* * *
March 14– I moved to the apartment in the next building.
* * *
March 15– We meet at the Mattachine Party. I slept over at his hotel.
* * *
March 18
My birthday. This was just yesterday. I met up with him in his hotel. We went to Prospect Park and lay in the grass. We agreed to cook and eat dinner with his partner at their home. We spent the night at my apartment, celebrating. He shared with Stravinsky and optical illusions.
* * *
I leave on April 11. I have been living a dream here in New York. I love him.
